Dr. Laurie Helgoe’s book, the Boomer's Guide to Dating Again (Alpha Books), is a first in an exciting new series geared to the lives of baby boomers. Dating again, particularly after divorce or loss of a partner, can be an overwhelming prospect. This guide reminds you--with a little help from your boomer friends--that dating again can be a wonderful adventure. Forget pat advice and tune into who you were back then, who you are now, and what you want—and get loads of help in getting it! All to the beat of Flower Power, the Beatles and mood rings.

"I ordered your book on Amazon two weeks ago, along with 5-6 others on the same topic, and wanted to let you know that I found yours the most helpful and well-written, with good content, practicality and compassion.  Thanks for your good work."  --Laura, age 56, Oakland, CA

See Dr. Helgoe's bio.

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Boomer's Guide to Dating Again

Top 10 Ways to Get Ready to Date Again:

1. Fall in Love with yourself. Write down what distinguishes you from the rest, get others to add to it, post it in a prominent place.

2. Pay Attention to what attracts you. Focusing on what you like shifts your energy away from trying to please and puts you in a more confident position.

3. Fantasize. The only way you’re going to get up the steam to get out there is to do what you did the first time you dated: Work yourself up!

4. Ignore Negative Thoughts. Rather than feeding these thoughts, ignore them and feed your desires instead.

5. Beef Up Your Support System. Get in touch with friends you’ve neglected, join a support group, hire a therapist.

6. Take Inventory. Try to see yourself as others see you and decide what to keep and what to change.

7. Get Current. Find a “consultant” in her 20’s—perhaps your own child!—and have her take you shopping.

8. Do What You Love and the dates will come. This is your chance to find your passion, both in life and in love.

9. Become a Regular. Do your reading in a coffee shop, work out regularly at the gym, follow your favorite band.

10. Approach Dating as an Adventure, not a test. On an adventure, there are no failures, only discoveries.

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Boomer's Top 10 Ways to Meet Dates:

2. Take a private activity to a public place. The book you’re reading, the article you’re writing, or the scene you’re sketching can become great material for conversation.

3. Engage scouts to help you. Inform your network of friends, family and work associates that you want to meet people and to keep you in mind.

4. Go online. If you’re willing to weed through a large pool of potentials, to start with short, casual meetings, and to take some basic safety precautions (i.e., no name or address, first meeting in a public setting) this may be your ticket.

5. Take a class. Enroll in an evening or weekend course at your local university, attend a speaker’s series, or pursue a creative outlet, such as drawing, cooking or swing dancing.

6. Join. Pick an area of interest and there’s probably a club to match it. Houses of worship are great places to meet people of the same faith.

7. Meet People in Your Line of Work. One way to avoid the complications of dating someone in your work setting is to attend conferences and gatherings for people in your field.

8. Hire a Pro. New dating services, such as SpeedDating, It’s Just Lunch, and Eight at Eight, feature brief or casual ways of sampling dates to avoid awkward mismatches.

9. Become a Regular. Remember your parents telling you to stay in one place if you get lost? The logic of this strategy can apply to meeting dates.

10. Hit the Bar. This is not a typo. While often discouraged, the bar remains a popular place to meet dates. Why? Because people are relaxed, the social code encourages flirting, and bars can be fun!

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